Bullying In Nursing Culture Part 2

There is a point when you get way into your 40's (like me!) that you hope all the bullying and passive aggressive remarks in nursing will 1. Disappear or 2. Float off your back without sustaining the sting they intended.  Sadly I have more luck of the sun not rising in the morning.  Let's face it, we are a female dominated, dysfunction relationship, sad example of girlfriends gone toxic.   

My husband who is very successful in business can have a heated discussion with a co-worker and then go out with him for a beer.  I can interpret the most innocent of remarks as an attack on my performance, intentions, work ethic and character and not sleep for a week!!  This is because men are able to compartmentalize professional and personal and women cannot and therein lies part of the issue.

I was once a part of such a dysfunctional team that management forced us to do group therapy....yep that was about as much fun as cleaning up an over full exploding colostomy bag!!  But I do remember one this the therapist told us.

"Think the best of me and I will think the best of you!"

I have tried (not always successful) to apply that to my work relationships.  Maybe if that colleague called out she really is sick, maybe when your co-worker gave you the stink eye she was thinking about other things like troubles at home, maybe when your team mate snapped your head off it was because her to-do list is so long and she has not slept in 2 nights as she was up with her baby who is teething.  Who knows what the reason is, but the point is peoples bad moods and reactions to us is not always about us and so we should try and take the high road and focus on what we are doing right and not on that one thing we may have done wrong or that one thing that your co-worker wants the whole team to know you did wrong!!

We cannot change the psychosis of bullying within our profession over night but we can start with us.  Chose to be kind, chose not to participate in the gossip, in fact flee from it and make it known you will not participate.  Set an example for the novice nurse and the nurse who is unable to defend herself.  Be a champion of kindness and let's start caring for each other the way we care for our patients.