Friends At Work: Blessing or a Curse

I am in abit of a dilemma about friendships at work especially in the high stress environment of nursing.  I have had close friends at work which have really helped in those I-just-cant-do-this-one-more-day moments who have kept me sane, given me a shoulder to cry on and laugh with.  I have enjoyed the camaraderie that these relationships bring, the feeling of support and that somebody has my back.  But when those friendships teeter a little being at work with someone who knows so much information about you can make you feel vulnerable, it can be hard to deal with those moody days when you are not getting on so well, and that got-my-back can sometimes morph into someone is going to stab me in the back!!! And we all know that in nursing there are some events that happen at work that quickly bring the best and the worst out in us!

My very first nursing job as a Staff Nurse on a demanding Neurology Ward in Oxford, England I met a wonderful lady called Carol who became my mentor before I even knew what the word mentor meant!!  This was a deep friendship that still sustains today and I would not have survived my first couple of years of nursing without her.

Then I have had friends outside of work who are also nurses and there is immediately an instant connection, nurses can always chat.  Early on I met an amazing girl called Karen, we became very very close, worked in the same hospital but never really with each other, but had enough connection that we both supported each other, especially when we had our first babies.  Again, another friendship that was as necessary as oxygen at that time in my life.

Then there were the new jobs where I undoubtedly tried too hard to connect in an effort to fit in.  The danger with close friendships at work is sometimes you can divulge too much information about your personal life too soon and when that friendship starts to "crumble" it becomes toxic and your hostile friend can now use all that "stuff" against you.

As a seasoned nurse I now advise my nursing students to be professional, always always have your colleagues back, you never know when you want them to have yours!  If seeing colleagues outside of work and getting close is what you want/need go ahead, but be aware there can be pitfalls, Big ones!  If you are not that kind of person, its really fine to have good communication at work, for people to know just enough about you and then leave the job at work, colleagues and all when you leave.

I would be interested to know what you guys think.  What is your experience of friends at work?  The good the bad and the ugly.

Graduations And Celebrations

My eldest son just graduated this weekend from the University of New Hampshire with a degree in Information Technology.  It has been a journey for him, did a 4 year degree program in 5 years, yes there were some bumps along the way but Joe is the epitome of tenacity and determination and his Senior Year he killed school and got himself an awesome internship.  They must have liked/loved him as they just offered him an amazing full time job with benefits and a future.  Can you say now-you-can-pay-your-own-cellphone-and-car-insurance!!!!


I have also been teaching long enough to start seeing many of my students (who are juniors when I get them) graduate and get their first Nursing jobs.  Its a time of new beginnings and celebrations.  There are lots of cliches out there about life being a journey not the destination, its not the number of breaths you take but how you breathe etc etc, but seeing my son and my students graduate and move onto the next part of their lives got me a little reflective.  

Growing up as a young millennial pursuing a professional life is a huge challenge in 2013 and beyond.  I worry did I prepare my kids enough, do they know how to balance a check book, get in and out of a relationship!, have a good work ethic, be an advocate for themselves and others?

Nursing is a lot like life, you need good people skills, a thick skin and a strong stomach!  You need excellent communication skills especially with those who have none!!  You need to be flexible and change direction on a dime but investing in these young people is a joy that is becoming a large part of my professional life.  We need to be tolerant of each other, especially the generational differences, no style is wrong, it's just different, strengths and weaknesses in both.  It took us a great deal to get our kids through University, both emotionally, physically ( I hate hate moving kids in and out of a dorm!) and fiscally, but I would do it all again, with these kids (Joe, Elliot and Katie) and work three times as hard to make sure they had this experience at this point in their lives.  Only one more kid to go, we are down to counting semesters, only 3 more semesters for Elliot in Boston and then he too can pay for his own rent, cell phone and car insurance........then what will I do with myself, probably find another young adult project.   

Enormously proud, hugely happy!

With my sweet boy, Joe, we are so proud of him

Then it's time to party, we had an amazing evening with Joe and his friends

Knowing Better.....Being Better

 

8 Ways to Become a Better Nurse

Have struggled this week to come up with some ideas for my blog and was kind of down on myself that because I am not doing active bedside nursing right now really I am not a real nurse and have no right to blog about the subject.   Nothing could be further from the truth.  Nurses are more than clinicians in the practical sense and we use nursing in all of our life skills be that teaching, family, executive function, friendships.  Anyways on doing some research I came across this blog entry by Phil Baumann who validated my point that even those of us who are not currently bedside nurses still have a voice and an opinion to put forth.  I know that at the end of every class I teach, every semester, every patient case that is closed I ask myself what did I do well but what could I do better.  In the business of our lives its important to reflect every now and again.



Guest Phil Baumann shares some great advice on how to be nurses can improve their care.

This is a guest post written by Phil Baumann originally posted on his website.

One of the benefits of being away from bedside nursing is that I’ve had time to reflect on my own performance. How could I have been better? What simple precepts would have helped? Being out of the “fog of war” has given me a clearer view of what’s right and what’s wrong in health care. Our culture doesn’t offer much positive encouragement for the nursing profession. That’s a costly shame, as many Baby Boomers soon will discover. To help out, I’ve come up with eight ways to become a better nurse.

1. Pay attention to how you perceive your patients
2. Intend nothing but the best for your patients
3. Speak the truth in a way that echoes your wisdom, not your darkness
4. Act on the facts but respect your intuition
5. Live your life as a connection to something greater than yourself
6. Work through your hardest times, not against them
7. Mind your mind: its power to destroy is its power to heal
8. Focus on the moment, not the past
9. Some of us are cut for bedside nursing, some of us aren’t. I think if you’re in bedside nursing and enjoy what you do then you’re a Jedi Knight who commands more respect than you probably receive.

For those of you who don’t quite enjoy what you do, think about your reasons for what you do. Consider the eight precepts (or make up your own) and see if anything changes for the better. You have more options than you realize.
Feel free to add your own suggestions for becoming a better nurse. If I get to 101, I’ll post your thoughts here and promote the living shit out of the list.
I hope the list I’m offering here helps you to become a better nurse, a better person, a better part of our quickly-changing world.

Thanks Phil........well said!

I'M BACK!!!!!!

So after a bit of a break in my posting due to a technical issues (was locked out of my Blog) I found a college kid (Sam Faulkner you rock!!) who is helping me with a new business website and got me back into Nurseology.  This makes me immensely happy, all I have to do is feed him (college kids love to eat) pay him a small hourly fee and he fixes all my IT issues.  Money well spent and he is available for hire locally or remotely so if you have a need, message me and I will give you his details.

Anywhoo, back to the plot.  Wow I have a whole year-to-date to talk about.  Where to start?  So I took a hiatus from Visiting Nursing this year as I have so many other projects on the go.  I miss the hands on clinical experience, I miss the one on one patient contact and the relationships that I made in the field.  I do not miss being a slave to the schedule, traffic jams, showing up at someones house when you have just told them (10 minutes ago) you are on your way and they have either gone out or will not let you in.  I do not miss being yelled at by family members because I cannot fix their loved one who is in the stage of end-of-life.  I do not miss working with a dysfunctional team (lets face it most teams are).  I love love love working from home, being my own boss and setting my own schedule.  My stress levels went from the height of the Empire State Building to ground level.....that is priceless. So this may not be a forever break from Community Nursing but it is for now.

I continue to teach face-to-face and online.  I taught two clinical sessions for the Philadelphia University I am employed by at a busy city children's hospital.  I had two awesome groups of students, I loved them all.  I have a formula I have developed the past couple of years that seems to work so I build on it.  First of all I think it helps that I really enjoy young adults, but I try to get to know them as people first, develop them as people as well as nurses.  That way I can see their strengths and what we have to work on.  Also, there is much published evidence out there that shows if a student believes the instructor cares about them they perform much better.  Think about the teacher in school you did best for, part of it may have been because you liked that teacher and thought they liked you.  We had our fare share of renal patients, lots of bronchiolitis, babies with GI issues etc.  The basics are great to teach, highlight how to work with the nursing process, document and most importantly build a relationship with the child and the family.  All my students passed their clinical and I hope it was a good experience for them

Online teaching continues.  For some mad reason I agreed to teach for yet another online school.  This was not a good idea as they were not organized, their communication was awful and their students poorly prepared.  It was the longest 8 weeks of my life but we got through it.  I quickly ditched them and told them I was not available to teach for another class.  However I continue with my original school (in Texas of all places) teaching community health, nurse leadership and care of the elderly and love it.  Was able to keep up all my grading and discussion on a recent trip to Rome.....aahhh the beauty of working online! 

So welcome back to my blog, now I am in look for weekly updates.  I missed you guys and I really missed blogging.  Got lots of ideas to rave about for the summer.